Pharmaceuticals Suck

Wait a minute…Yes, as a matter of fact I do feel tired when I wake up some mornings. And at times I do feel a little irritable when I haven’t eaten anything for several hours. Come to think of it, every once in a while I do have a little trouble falling asleep. What the hell is wrong with me?

Here I have been thinking that I am a reasonably happy, healthy person only suffering the symptoms of being human like a sick, pathetic, miserable idiot. Thank Heavens there is Paxlexa®™©, to help me become the person I thought I was before I saw this commercial, and which I now so clearly realize I am not. God bless you, Gunther, Simpson and Kruger. Besides, I can put up with a little anal seepage if it means finally looking so very completely satisfied with my life like that guy who takes Paxlexa®™© in your commercial.

I feel so lucky to live in America. Self-diagnosing and prescribing from the warm glow of your own television isn’t possible in most developed nations, as they have meaningful limitations to pharmaceutical advertising.

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About P. Funkenstein

B. Wixwater is the Founder, Writer, Editor and Champion of the Portland Bugle.
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