Category Archives: Sports

LeBron Sucks

I saw Nike’s Project: LeBron Reclamation commercial and I hated it because it sucked. LeBron kept asking ‘What should I do?’ in a patronizing manner suggesting that fans’ expectations weren’t and aren’t fair or reasonable. My only expectation for LeBron … Continue reading

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Vuvuzelas Suck

Look. If I wanted a cicada surgically implanted in my inner ear, I wouldn’t have so briskly walked away from that crazy homeless guy this one time downtown. The World Cup, however, offers a non-surgical, non-urine-scented option that yields the … Continue reading

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The Olympics Suck

If anything in this world gives you cancer, it’s got to be SunnyD, right? If you had to describe the flavor in one word, wouldn’t you choose ‘carcinogenic?’ So it goes without saying that I’ve been drinking it by the … Continue reading

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David Stern Sucks

Altogether the NBA is worth untold billions, but if they do not receive a subsidy from local taxpayers—most of whom can’t afford to take their family to a game anyway—David Stern will take your team hostage at the hands of … Continue reading

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